The one about Long Distance Relationships (LDR)

So lets talk about relationships here for a minute if y’all don’t mind. As you all know I am currently in a long distance relationship with my honey. I don’t know how many of y’all have ever been in one but it’s seriously one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Unless you are truly committed to this person, don’t even bother attempting a LDR. It’s a lot of patience and understanding.It also takes extraordinary amounts of love. I’m telling y’all, If I didn’t know for fact that this man is the one I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with, I would definitely call it quits. Also, If I didn’t have Jasmine and it was just me, I probably wouldn’t have been able to be in a LDR this long. We’ve been doing this since June of 2010( the long distance part, we’ve been together since May 2009) and it doesn’t get any easier. I just have to remind myself constantly that him being away now is so that we can all be together later.

Now that I’ve said all that, let me tell y’all what my biggest gripe is, COMMUNICATION! My honey has thee biggest issue keeping up with communication. now I don’t mean that he doesn’t communicate how he’s feeling with me. I mean, I expect to talk to him EVERYDAY and he slacks on that. It irks me to no end! We’ve had plenty of discussions about this very thing and the lack of communicating had me ready to throw in the towel last year when he was in NY. If my buddy( waves at my buddy) hasn’t talked me down, it would have been over at that point. Honey went to Texas this past April for work and we talked everyday, more than once a day. It was everything I wanted him to do and more. Now he’s back in NY and the communication is lacking again. I figured out why earlier. In Texas he didn’t know anyone at all. He had no one to hang out with at all so he could focus on me all the time. Now he’s back in NY where he knows people and they are occupying his time. The problem with that is, he’s allowing his friends there to be a priority over me. I’m not the type that NEEDS a bunch of attention which is evident from the Fact that I am in a LDR. I do however want to feel like I’m being thought of and missed and what not.  Right now, at this present moment I’m not feeling that way(hormones y’all, that womanly war if ya know what I mean) and that is a horrible feeling.

Once I’m over being annoyed enough to snap off ( my current state of mind) I’ll talk to him about how I am feeling. I need him to do better. There isn’t much more to it.

Any advice?


10 thoughts on “The one about Long Distance Relationships (LDR)

  1. I wouldn’t want to have to play the tit for tat game in a relationship. I play way too much of that in dating and hate it there, so it would be way worse in a serious relationship (imo). Is there a time frame of when you’ll be in the same place again?

    • Well he’ll be home in december for sure. That’s what I’m looking most forward to.

      I do think just a little tit for tat is effective in proving a point. That I’m not always just gonna be avaliable when he wants me to be ya know?

  2. Keep your head up girly! I’m not much into game playing either, and when you’re hormonal every emotion is magnified! I suggest waiting until you’re not in PMS mode and tell him how you feel again. Have you told him directly ” I want to talk to you everyday?” You two should have a time set aside daily to talk even if its for just a few minutes.

    • I’ve told him more than once that the only thing I require with this long distance thing is that we talk every day. We don’t have a set time. Or a time limit. I don’t think that’s too much to ask is it? He should just comply so I don’t have to bitch.

  3. I don’t have much in the way of advice to offer, but the “tit for tat” DOES work wonders sometimes! The game playing thing is never fun, but if that’s what you have to do to get your point across..

  4. Did I ever tell you that my hubby went away for grad school for 2 years while we were married? He was in VA and I stayed in Atlanta. Our friends and family thought we were nuts and would surely get divorced. But we knew what we were doing. His MBA program was like a boot camp and I knew he wouldn’t have time for me so I stayed home and worked and hung out with my girlfriends for 2 years. I’m not going to lie, it was tough and sometimes it was rough, especially when he’d be in an all-weekend study group and forget to call or drop an email. Daily communication was one of our rules for this LDR arrangement. I’m not ashamed to say that I would make myself unavailable to take a call or two or wait a day to return an email to get my point across.

    • Nope. You didn’t tell me that. So you can really relate! I see I’m gonna have to make myself less avaliable tho. That’ll learn em!

  5. Been there. My husband and I were long distance for nearly 3 years. As a married woman I will tell you single or not communication is not a man’s strong point. Just try to let him know that right now communication is all that you both have while you are apart and its important that he realize this. Women and men are wired differently, just keep that in mind.

    If that doesn’t work, do what I did..tit for tat. When he would call I wouldn’t answer on purpose, then wait a day or so to call back. Do that enough times he’ll get it..that could’ve been bad advice, but it worked for me!

    • Thanks Mimi! I know that men are usually not communicators however, call me and talking to me every day or shooting me and email shouldnt be so hard. That’s the part that works my nerves.

      And that wasn’t bad advice. I’ve done the tit for tat before and it does work, I just hate feeling like I’m playing games ya know?

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