Where does the time go?



She was small like yesterday and now she’s been 6 for 6 days. :'( like where did my baby go?



First grade? Getting leggy? Cuter? Who approved all of this? I didn’t!

I’m proud to be her mom. Proud to watch her grow and get smarter. Its amazing but I wish time would slow down just a little bit.


I feel like any time I blog lately it’s depressing so that’s why I haven’t been blogging. I really miss it tho.

In my life, much as changed and much as stayed the same.

I’m still unemployed. It’s been 7 months.

I’m still looking every day for employment.

I’m still trying my hardest to keep a positive spirit and attitude and that’s where things get tough.

This is a personal blog so I feel like I can continue to tell things the way that they are.

I was collecting my unemployment for the past 6 months. Did you know that after 6 months they cut you off completely? Even if you’re doing all of the things that they ask of you? Even if you REALLY are looking for employment and REALLY are going on interview after interview? Yep, they still cut you off. And you know what happens when you get cut off? You can’t pay your rent and you have to put in a 30 day notice and you have to start packing your shit because you have no other choice.

So that’s where I am now. Trying to figure out my next move and I’m tired yall. I’m so tired of being tested. I’m so tired of the struggle. I’m tired of crying. I’m just tired.

But I know that’s the devil. I know he’s trying to win and I can’t let that happen. I have to press forward. I have to keep going.

On a brighter note, my baby girl turned 6. I can’t believe I’ve been her mom for a while 6 years. She had an amazing birthday and party. She’s my greatest gift and I will do whatever I can to make sure she’s healthy and happy. That’s my job.

Also I’ve been in an actually relationship for 9 months now. He’s still a blessing and is becoming one of my best friends. That’s a great sign of things to come.

My family and friends have been there for me through all of this. They know me and they know I am super independent. They know this period of my life is really rough and they have been there to help hold me up. I can’t thank them enough for everything.

And you guys. You have been there too. Through social media and some of you in my text messages in my phone. I love all of you guys.

Hopefully things turn around for me soon. I’m pretty tired of this year.

5 months. . .

Hey guys!

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve been here but lately I go through these spurts of wanting to write then the mood fades and my mind changes and I go weeks without doing it. It’s been the same with the book I’m writing. My mojo is mostly nonexistent and I really need to get it back. I’m in a slump guys and I don’t really knowi how to break out of it.

I’ve been unemployed for five months now. I’ve gotten offers but the pay they have been offering is too low and I can’t just settle for anything so I wait and continue to apply and interview and try not to let my current circumstances bring me to a dark place. It would be really easy to go there but my faith is so strong I refuse to let myself get taken there.

There have been some positive things going on in my life though. Jas started first grade. She started off struggling but now she’s doing well. Neither of us knew how much work “big kid school” would be, but we are making the adjustments needed for this to be a very successful school year.

You guys remember I vlogged about the guy I met back in January? Well he’s still around. He’s been a great source of positivity and comfort throughout a year that has been rough to say the least. He’s always encouraging and motivating. He’s helped me take my mind off my troubles when I need it most. He’s met some of my family and he and Jas have a budding friendship that makes me smile to see. I told him recently that I don’t feel things happen by chance. I feel we were placed in each others lives for a reason and I truly believe it because God felt we needed each other. Whether he becomes my forever partner or just my forever friend, I am grateful to know him. He’s my bae!

My family has been great. We stick together like no other. They have also been a source of support for me and Jas and I appreciate them so much.

SO friends, please keep me in your prayers. God willing I will be employed soon and I can get my life back on track.

3 months. . .

3 months, almost 4 is how long I’ve been laid off work.

I was laid off, That next week my niece died and I slipped into a bit of a funk.

It bothers me only a bit that I haven’t found new employment yet but I have put every ounce of my faith in God and know that it’s coming.

I had all but lost my passion for writing but its slowly but surely coming back to me which is annoying, yet exciting. Having characters constantly trying to tell you their stories can be nerve racking but it just means I NEED to write.

My romantic life is pretty fulfilling and consistent. And that’s all I’ll say about that for now. :)

My baby goes to 1st grade this fall. Bitter sweet for me. My baby is growing up way too fast but I’m proud of her. Super proud.

I hope all is well with you guys. I haven’t kept up with anyones blogs but I’ll start again soon.

New and upcoming

Excerpt  from the new project I’m working on. . .

Match.com, eHarmony. Plenty- o-fish, hell even Our Time, because ain’t nothing wrong with a little salt and pepper hair if the packaging is still in tact.
This year I’ll be turning 30 and I’m determined not to walk into a fabulous year single. Online dating can be a chore but it also has it’s perks. I get to meet a plethora of men, abet most of them strange It works wonders for a woman’s self esteem. Sure there are some men who use the sites purely as a means to get the booty(and women who pretend they aren’t there for that same reason), then there are others who are truly looking for something real and I’m here for it.
I bought a journal to document those encounters. I know I’ll look back at them one day and get a kick out of it. Although,currently , I shake my head every time I meet a new man, and he, and the date are a dud and I have to document the experience.
Like today, I went out with a pretty average looking guy named Curtis. He checked off a few of my boxes like; He’s employed, has no kids, his own place and his own car. Those are must haves for me, plus the fact that he’s asked me out 6 times within the past 3 weeks. Persistence is attractive to me and his chocolate skin didn’t hurt the situation one bit.
I ran my fingers through my thick curls a few times stretching one well past my shoulders inspecting the length. I was still not quite sure I liked the shade of strawberry blond I had chosen for it the week before but I’d make it work. I put on my super skinny jeans and a cute flirty top in my favorite color, royal blue I’m 5’9” and a curvy size 12. I don’t mind showing what I’m working with, but I am mindful of the signal showing too much sends to some of these fellas. I’m a very sexual person, but I don’t need to put that on a shirt and parade around town in it. That would be team too much.                                But back to Curtis.
Like i said, he was attractive enough ( see: alright looking) and his profile said he was 6’2 which meant I could wear heels if I wanted to and not tower over him, but I chose flats for this date.
. I got to our designated meeting place, Black Angus,  and let me say he lost a few points there, not because of his choice of venue, but for his choice of time frame, lunch. I knew for a fact that the place was elderly central during lunch hours and having grandpas gawking while I’m chewing my steak with my own permanent teeth was not my idea of a good time. Also, lunch time in that restaurant was prime time for creepers. The dim lighting coupled with the shady extra high back booths made for a perfect atmosphere to romance a side chick.
Curtis met me out front. The nearer he approached, the shorter he became. His 6’2” stature had shrunk down to my height of 5’9”. I was so happy I had chosen those flats. I stood, giving him the once over. He smiled.
“Nice to finally meet you beautiful.” He said, leaning in to hug me.
*Record scratch*
Were his two front teeth facing each other?
“Nice to meet you too. You should be glad I wore flats since your height on your profile was obviously a typo.” I said, pulling away from him, smirking.
“Yea, uh, about that.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Don’t worry about it, lets just get inside.” I told him, letting him lead the way.
Lunch was. . . awkward. I lead most of the conversation. Curtis had a bit of a stutter. I couldn’t tell if it was nerves or something he really suffered with, so I didn’t make it an issue. I caught myself a few times looking at him with scrunched eyebrows as he wiped the sweat from his forehead every 2 minutes.
Did I forget to mention that Curtis had gained a few pounds since his profile picture? He had to be at least 50 lbs heavier than the picture I saw of him and that was really a turn off.Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a teddy bear and your girl isn’t a size 2, but my pictures are current. No one coming to meet me will ever feel duped. Between his teeth, his stuttering and his sweating. I completely felt Catfished and wanted to get out of there sooner than later.
“You’re not feeling me are you?” Curtis asked, after wiping sweat from his forehead for the 100th time.
“If I’m honest,” I placed my napkin on the table before pushing my plate back a bit,”this date isn’t anything I thought it would be. We’re not clicking and chemistry is something you can’t force.” I was trying to be nice and not just say, “ Hell no, this is horrible and you won’t ever see me again.”
“I get it.” he said sighing heavily.
“You’re a nice guy, but, I suggest you update your profile.When a woman comes to meet you, she should know what you look like, for real, before hand. If she’s not interested, on to the next. An uninterested woman is not the end of the world.”                                                                                                                                                                “Women tend to be shallow.” he said, wiping his face with this napkin.
“People tend to have preferences. Just because you’re not one womans cup of green tea doesn’t mean you won’t be for the next one.”
“You’re right and you’re sweet. I hope you find what you’re looking for.” He said, motioning for the bill from the waitress.
“You too.” I placed my hand on top of his, squeezing it gently.
Our date ended with a final hug and us going our separate ways. Good ol’ Curt would be number 8 in the dating fail section of my journal.
“On to the next.”
Being single wasn’t as fun as it was when I was younger. I wish I could go back to those days, but since life won’t stop moving for me, I’ll keep going on my quest to find Mr. Right, or Mr.
Right Now, whichever comes first.
Since it was a Tuesday evening and my date didn’t produce anything worth following up on, I kept my plans with my girls for happy hour. I needed to recharge and they were the best way to get that done. Plus they love hearing about the “Max Chronicles”, as they call them.



My niece died Thursday. She was 28 and she died. She was my first niece. I love her. She said I was her favorite auntie. I miss her. She was fun and funny.

Im mad at her. She didn’t fight. She left us.

I’m sad. She has 3 kids that will grow up motherless. My big sister is heartbroken. No mother should ever lose a child ever.

I’m happy. She doesn’t have to live with pain or hurt or any of that. She’s an angel now. I’m happy about that.

I love her