I just received an email from one of my oldest friends. My OG BFF as we refer to each other. She is working on a project and I thought I would share it with you guys. If you’re interested her email is included at the end.
As many of you know last week my ex boyfriend killed himself–ending his long battle with depression and bi-polar disorder. As I’ve just begun to navigate the roller coaster of emotions that come with a loss of this type I find myself often saying, “they don’t have a book for this…” I remember feeling like I had to keep my ex’s illness a secret from my friends and like I was the only woman in this type of relationship, yet since he passed away quite a few women I know have shared stories about their current or former partner who is battling mental illness and depression. I would like to put together a series of stories and essays from women who have been or are currently in relationships with men who suffer from mental illness. Black men in particular. As the suicide rate among black men continues to grow, they are the least likely to seek help for mental illness and there are plenty of women who are in relationships with them. We often watch them suffer and while we offer to help them seek support–we don’t seek any for ourselves because we’re raised not to “put our business in the streets..” I promise to keep all identifying information private if you wish (I do understand it’s a touchy topic). The stories don’t have to all be tragic–in fact if you or someone you know is currently in a relationship with a man taking the steps to live a healthy life–I would love to share those too. Stories can be shared via email at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you know someone who you think would be willing to share please share this email with them. The stories don’t have to be written–videos are welcome, I’ll transcribe.
Again if you”re interested in helping with this project or know someone who would like to help, please lend a helping hand and pass the information along.
*disclaimer* If you’re not a pet lover this post probably won’t mean a thing to you.
Yesterday I came to work nervous about some breast pain I had been having for about a month. I was becoming increasingly concerned so I called my OB. They set an appointment for 11am. I went and got checked out. I was told that it’s probably just my hormones causing the pain and it should subside. All of my nerves were gone after that and I was happy to return to work knowing my breasts were good.
After work I picked up Jas from school
and we went and got my older sister since we both needed to go grocery shopping. My sister comes to the car with Max, her friends small Dog.
She kind of dog sits for him when her friend has to work. He always rolls with us and he’s the only dog jas likes.
So my sister gets in the car and tells us Max isn’t feeling week. I ask her what’s wrong with him and she says,
“he’s breathing weird, like he has something in his throat.”
I look over at Max does seem to be having a hard time breathing but it isn’t too hand when he’s still. She put him down and he laid at her feet while we drove to the store. Max was sleeping when we got there so we let him rest while we went in. When we were done he had climbed over to the divers side and was under my seat. I talked to him and gave him a little water before we were on our way to drop he and my sister back off at home.
When we get there we let Max out to do his business but he didn’t want/need to. He usually climbs the stairs himself but yesterday, he had no energy for it so my sister carried him into the house.
My sister left her cell in my car so she made sure Max was comfortable at home before we walked the block down to my place to get it. I drove her back home and about 10 minutes later she calls me crying.
“Max was throwing up blood when I came back. S ( her friend) was here and now Max isn’t moving. He’s just laying there trying to breathe through his nose. Oh My God, this is so sad.”
Jas comes into the room and can hear her auntie crying so she’s asking me what’s wrong. I tell her Max is still sick.
“Maybe Max just needs some rest and then he’ll feel better.” Jas says.
At this point I get off the phone with my sister and S. They are both really upset and so am I.
“Is Max gonna be okay mommy?”
“I don’t think so baby. You probably won’t ever see Max again. He’s gonna go to Doggy Heaven.”
“Yes baby, you remember what that is?”
“Yea, it’s in the sky where God lives.”
“That’s right. He’ll go to Heaven and then he’ll be okay.”
Jas goes back in her room and obviously thinks about this some more. Kids have a way of knowing things no one else knows. It’s amazing and strange all at the same time. Jas comes back in my room and says to me,
“I think Max just went to Heaven mommy.”
“Yea he probably isn’t gonna go to heaven.”
Not 2 minutes later my sister texts me and tells me he’s gone.
Instantly I feel so bad for S. Max was about 7 years old and anyone with pets knows that’s quite a life. It made me think about my Bayley who lived to be 11 and passed on suddenly in his sleep in 2008
So yea, yesterday started with Good news and ended on a very sad note. R.I.P Max.
Hey y’all! Happy friday!
Fridays are when I feel the most random so I’ll hit you with some. . .
I’ve been suffering from slight insomnia lately. I LOVE sleep! You hear me!? I LURVE it! But I don’t think it loves me right now.
I hate stupid questions, even from my toddler. When the sun is shining, please don’t ask me if it’s foggy. That’s just stoopid.
“Friend” told me her husband has been drinking a lot and his friends were so worried they called his parents. I told her, “Instead of talking bad about him, try and figure out what’s bothering him because it’s obviously something. I left it at that.
I have great friends!
I had to take my NEW car to the shop because a gate hit my driver’s side in the front. It took them 2 days to fix but in those 2 days I had to ride around in a Chevy Sonic. A bright red one at that. When I say I missed my big car. I really missed it. I felt like I was ” took big in there” Wasn’t cute!
I have a baby shower to go to on Sunday. I can’t stand baby showers. I hope it’s not too corny.
I’m working on my third book. I’m excited about it. It’s different from my other books.
Speaking of other books, they are still selling even without me promoting them. Slow, but selling non-the-less and that’s something to be proud of.
I booked my flight to Chicago this summer. I’m excited for our reunion. I love spending time with my family.
My 85yr old granny called me talking about her ipad. she had an ipad but still uses a flip a phone. she’s too fancy for me.
Well, I hope y’all have a great weekend! I’m gonna try to!